


Seductive Translation

by OverMyFreckledBody



Series: Why the Gang Shouldn't Game [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Armin is the dungeon master, Characters are playing Dungeons and Dragons, Crack, Dick Jokes, Drabble, Gen, i am a nerd and i am sorry but, i saw the stupid chat and i have things to do but...., its really silliness is what it is, kind? not really, lots of the f word bc jean is pissed, lowkey jean/dragon, no explicitly stated or hinted relationships, no joke i love this game, nothing in this one anyway, though that might come later but maybe not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 03:39:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6103575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverMyFreckledBody/pseuds/OverMyFreckledBody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean's tired. Tired of this bullshit.</p><p>He says something he shouldn't have and now he doesn't really know where he and... this new (character?)... npc... stand.</p><p>Everyone thinks it's hilarious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seductive Translation

**Author's Note:**

> I saw [this](http://yourplayersaidwhat.tumblr.com/post/139944615328/draconic-insults) and I couldn't help myself.
> 
> (God, I love D&D.)
> 
> [Music for this.](https://listenonrepeat.com/?v=gpqmoBYkQfc#George_Michael_-_Careless_Whisper_\(Lyrics\)) It really sets the mood.

It was the most bullshit thing Jean had to come across in a fucking forest (magic forest - whatever). The only thing that ever came close was when Eren had “accidently” (he didn’t believe him and he was pretty sure with the look Armin had given him that the blond didn’t either) shredded his character sheet a couple maps back.

 

They were all just looking for some fucking magical sapling or _something_ to grow a tree for some hippie and honestly after this, Jean was gonna demand twice the pay. This quest was not something his character had been expecting and he wasn’t about to just let shit like this slide.

 

Shit like a motherfucking dragon popping out from the middle of some fucking outcrop (basically nowhere).

 

Everyone was quiet when Armin (gleefully, Jean noticed, the fucker.) announced after a few sneaky rolls of his dice behind his folder that they had came across a wandering dragon and essentially, started a battle with it. Why there was a humongous excuse of a lizard down on the forest floor instead in the mountains with the dwarves, Jean didn’t know, but he wasn’t about to waste ten minutes badgering Armin about it.

 

Instead, he only spat, “I tell the dragon to _suck my dick_.” and sagged back against his chair, crossing his arms with a huff. To his left, Marco snorted into his palm before trying to cover it with a cough and began to shuffle through his sheets.

 

Armin closed his eyes for a moment at Jean’s childish words before sighing, “It only looks at you puzzled.” Obviously, the stupid dragon didn’t know Common.

 

Eren, an amused expression on his face, looked straight up at Armin as he said, “I take a round to teach him how to say ‘suck my dick’ in draconic.” He was the team’s Dragon Knight, so he knew how to speak in both languages, which never seemed important until now. Maybe Armin was finally including a dragon just for him.

 

Oh, how that backfired.

 

“I can’t believe we’re going to fucking die because Jean can’t keep his mouth shut,” grunted Connie as he shot the two of them a glare, which burst Eren into a small fit of giggles. Connie rolled his eyes.

 

Raising her hand, Sasha jerked her head towards Jean as she spoke to Armin, “I call dibs on whatever survives from Jean getting brutally smashed and spit on.”

 

Spit on. Jean still couldn’t handle that not only was it a dragon, but it had to be _poisonous_ , too.

 

He shot a look at Marco, who was keeping to himself, but biting his lip to keep back from laughing at the rest of his party members’ shenanigans. He cleared his throat when he caught Jean’s eye and quickly looked down to avoid letting out any giggles. Jean shoved him.

 

“Here’s what the dragon says in return.” Armin told Eren as he handed him something scribbled on a sheet of notebook paper, which Eren accepted as everyone’s eyes turned to him. He covered his mouth as he immediately started _cackling_ and slammed his fist onto the table. Armin seemed pleased that his joke went well. “He also looks at Jean after his words and gives a grin, full of teeth that glitter in the high sun.”

 

Jean raised his eyebrow at Eren and waited for his message. It took a minute for him to stop laughing, but he was still smirking when he read it off, voice a tad bit out of breath from his laughing fit. “He says he’s going to love swallowing you down.”

 

The rest of the table broke off into their own chortles, Sasha reaching up to spit her drink into her palm, the liquid running off her hand and onto her jeans, having made the mistake of trying to take a gulp right before Eren delivered.

 

Jean only covered his face, the heels of his palms digging into his eyelids and let out of groan that made everyone laugh harder and earned him a hard slap to the back from Marco, who had joyful tears in his eyes.

 

“Fuck.”

**Author's Note:**

> Here is my [snk/writing tumblr](http://overmyfreckledbody.tumblr.com/). Tell me about your D&D experiences. 
> 
> Since you made it this far, I think it would be really cool if you could leave a kudos! And if you liked it, I would really appreciate a comment if you wanted to drop that too.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.


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